Self Identity: Moral Development in Children

Sample E-mail Answer by Barbara Averre, MHPCS, M.A.

Dear T,

It has been said, "There are no isolated individuals. There are only relations, because we can only know ourselves in relation to other selves." As children mature, they focus less on their own uniqueness and more on how their interpersonal worlds revolve. A child, learning to find himself in the world, observes how his actions bring about various predictable results in others. Even as infants, they sense order in the universe by finding that others respond when they cry, or laugh, or move their bodies. They detect a direct relation between their own actions and others' responses. In awareness of this the child can shape his actions to bring about desired results, what may be termed moral actions.

By learning these concepts, children begin to reap the benefits of conformity. They gain social attention and increase self-esteem; their identity and place in the world becomes clearer. By two or three years, children gain an awareness that others have inner states independent of their own. When the child's own view is defined, he learns the skills of how to observe others' views. He knows how his actions will affect them because he is able to understand how it would feel to be in their position.

Before age seven, children follow rules of compliance due to the love and respect they hold for their care-givers. After this, children begin to act in accordance to what rules make sense to them. They see the consequences of their actions, and they act accordingly. Eventually the child progresses from an authority awareness of obedience and punishment to a belief that being good feels good. After this the child behaves morally to win social approval, and finally comes to appreciate the law for its own sake. Toward the end they begin to follow their own conscience, and finally, if achieved, the moral ideal is a belief in and adherence to a universal ethical principle developed on their own.

Hope this information helps,

Barbara Averre, MHPCS, M.A.