Parenting Tips: The Now

by Eric Rutberg, M.A.

We were sitting together, on the sofa, just looking into each other's eyes. She was smiling. I was beaming. We were having a deep conversation without any words. Can I get some Parenting Advice?

Everyone says she looks like me but how? Do we have the same color eyes? The iris of hers are like gleaming, crystal clear, blue sapphires. My blues don't glimmer like that. Too much dust from traveling down the road of life, I suppose. Can I get some Parenting Advice?

I recognize those little ears, with perfect pitch, ushering the sounds of my heartbeat to that spiritual place that stores unconscious memories. Those wide feet and formidable insteps, perfect for foot thumping to musical rhythms and wading through street puddles, of course. Can I get some Parenting Advice?

What is in store for this little one? Am I going to be a good enough dad? I foresee all the tries that will fail, anticipate my quaking anxieties, dread all my fears and damn my insecurities. But what about all the chances for success? What of the people and things we will love and the places we may go? Do I lift her up and over those puddles of potential woe? I want to protect her but how much protecting is too much? Until, I suppose, she pushes me away and says "leave me alone, I'm fine on my own?"

Looking at her, I see myself clearly. I see myself, not in her features but in our future. I said out loud, though no one was present, "What makes me think I can raise up a kid?" Just then, my little one took a deep breath and I took a moment to look out my window, to center myself.

The leaves on our neighbor's maple tree are changing so quickly, I can almost see it happening before my eyes, so vibrant and lush. Like the seasons, families change too. I sure know Dad's changing. I dress for work in the morning, with my determined brow and formidable opinions. At home I strap on my guitar, and at Halloween I turn into a super hero. I hope that never changes but as sure as the leaves will turn and fall, so will I from her fantastic esteem.

At this very moment, right before my eyes, I am watching her change. The future is made up of a string of "now's." It's true. I've just confirmed, as she yawns and puts her head down on my prosperous belly. Being in the moment is, and I'm sure will remain to be, the best place in which I could ever be.

Eric Rutberg, M.A.

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