Couples counseling can be so beneficial to so many people. The problem is that people often wait to long before asking for help. Often by the time they start thinking about couples counseling, they are often headed for divorce. I think that if people would take advantage of the wonderful services of couples counseling BEFORE they hurt and wound eachother beyond recognition, there would be a lot less divorce.

Men and women really do think and act differently and so many times it is tough to understand why your partner does the things they do. Couples counseling can help you both understand what motivates the other to say and do the things they do. It can also help you both learn to communicate so that the other hears you better and more clearly. So many issues and emotions get wrapped up in a couples’ communication pattern that it is really easy to get stuck and really difficult to get unstuck. Without help, people end up in ruts where they get so frustrated they want to pull out their hair. That is when they start thinking “Why am I doing this?” and that is the first step toward divorce.

So take the time, make the investment in your relationship. Couples counseling is way cheaper than a divorce or alimony or child support and much less truamatic to all involved.

You can even do couples counseling online! It works great on the phone or in the chat room, or even with video (web cam)!

I wrote an email response for ABC’s radio website Todays Best hits about a wife talking with her husband about how she felt about his behavior toward her.
You can check it out at http://www.todaysbesthits.com/thetherapistisin.asp

My webpage is http://www.asktheinternettherapist.com/online_counselor_ag.asp

Carol Agnew, MA, LMFT
Online Counselor

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Parenting is such a hugh topic. There are so many things and questions you can have about parenting. Parenting is something you really learn as you do it. It doesn’t matter how many books you have read or trainings you have been to, there are always going to be situations where you aren’t sure what to do. Then when you think you have a handle on things the child continues to grow and you are onto whole new issues, or you have another child and they are completely different and respond completely differently than your first child.

I think the best we can do is to try our best, which includes asking for help when we get stuck. Read books, go to trainings, learn as much as you can about other people’s experiences. Those things will definitely help. But also don’t be afraid to bounce things off of someone else. Things from your childhood usually get triggered when parenting, which can skew how you look at the situation. You may differ in parenting styles from your partner, which can cause much stress and problems in your marriage. Parenting is such an important job. We are creating the future leaders and followers and peacemakers and terrorists (hopefully not! That is probably what happenes when people don’t care about their kids). It is worth it to give it our best effort and do the best job we can.

Therapists can be great resources for advice about parenting. The huge percentage of my everyday work is dealing with parenting issues, of babies, kids, teenagers, even grown children may still need parenting. The parent’s job is never done! So the next time you get stuck in trying to decide how to handle that temper tantrum, or can’t get your kid to stay in bed, or your son is getting bullied at school, or your teenager is using drugs, or you have stepfamily issues, or your grown son won’t move out, please take the time and make the investment in the most important job you will ever have. Ask for help.

You can find my webpage at

http://www.asktheinternettherapist.com/online_counselor_ag.asp

Carol Agnew, MA, LMFT
Online Counselor

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Counseling has gotten a stigma over the years. Some people feel embarressed to go to counseling or feel a sense of failure if they have to ask for help. However, I believe that every one of us can benefit from counseling. You don’t have to be mentally ill or have a diagnosis to get benefits out of counseling. Everyone can benefit from someone to talk things over with. Someone to help you weigh out the pros and cons of a big decision, or simply just to get feedback on how to live your best life. Often times we get into our heads too much and our thinking gets distorted. By talking to an unjudgemental person about these thoughts can help you get them straight.

Most of us have relationship issues that could use a third party opinion from time to time and if you don’t have relationships, that is an issue, too, that you probably need to look at. I can think of lots of times with my husband that were very frustrating to me and it was helpful to have a person to talk to about those frustrations and how to regain the intimacy that we lost.

Parenting is definitely a trial by error practice and counseling can be a great source of ideas and suggestions and ways to figure out why this technique isn’t working. Lots of people don’t think of counseling to help with parenting problems until their child is way out of control. The sooner you get help, the better your child will be. It is much easier to solve that problem when the child is 5 and not 15. However, there are things that can help at 15 as well, you may just have to work harder.

I would love to hear your comments or questions about when is a good time to get some counseling.

You can write your comments here or email me at

carol@asktheinternettherapist.com

here is my homepage: http://www.asktheinternettherapist.com/online_counselor_ag.asp

Carol Agnew, MA, LMFT
Online Counselor

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Welcome to AskTheInternetTherapist blog! I am Carol Agnew, marriage and family therapist on the site. I have been a counselor for 10 years and have been doing online counseling for 4 years. I am married and have two kids.
I will be talking here about all kinds of relationship issues, mental health issues like depression, bipolar disorder, self-esteem, parenting problems, and lots more.

You can see my page at http://www.asktheinternettherapist.com/online_counselor_ag.asp

you can also email me at carol@asktheinternettherapist.com

I look forward to talking with you soon!

Carol

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