The holidays can be really overwhelming with the numerous expectations, shopping, crowds, cookies to bake, huge meals to prepare, decorations to put up, let alone family issues. The holidays are a time of year when people expect to have their families around them, for good or bad and that can really be stressful. Whether you have small kids, big kids, no kids, animals, whatever, the holidays can really set us up to have unrealistic expectations of ourselves and our tolerance levels. So when Great Aunt Sue can’t understand why you would cut your hair like that it is time to take a HUGE breath and take a few steps back to remember what is really most important about this time of year. The fact that we have family that drive us crazy is something to be thankful for. Not everyone has family or family that they can visit and that is usually very hard to deal with. The fact that we still have food on the table and gifts (although maybe not as many this year) is also something to be thankful for.

I encourage you all to take some time for yourself this holiday season and really look at what you have going for yourself and how you can make your life even better. Maybe there is something lacking, maybe you need to take better care of yourself like you care for everyone around you. Maybe you need to find some new friendships with people who will value you for you and not what you can give them. Maybe you need to repair some of those relationships that have been neglected over the years. This is the time for some introspection and deep thought about who you are and who you want to be. You have the power, right now, today, to start being the person you want to be. It may take some time to get there and may feel like 2 steps forward 3 steps back, but at least you are stepping! We talk about New Year’s Resolutions, but really they should be New You Resolutions and should be life impacting to help you live the best possible life you can, whatever that is, however it looks to you.

Peace to you all,

Happy Holidays

Carol Agnew, MA, LMFT

Online Counselor

http://www.asktheinternettherapist.com/online_counselor_ag.asp

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It is that time of year again, when all the decorations and lights come out of the attic and chaos ensues at the stores. The holidays are a time of frenzied activity for some and for deep depression for others. There can be several factors that influence depression at this time of year. In the North, the daylight hours grow shorter and shorter, causing many people to hardly see the sun at all. Oftentimes they get up and go to work before the sun comes up and are in the office building all day, then drive home in the dark. Thus, those people are likely to suffer from Seasonal Affect Disorder, a type of depression caused by not getting enough sunlight and vitamin D. These people can remedy this disorder with a sun lamp, making an effort to be outside for simply 15 minutes a day, and taking a daily vitamin.

In addition to dark days the holidays are a time when people evaluate the amount and quality of relationships they have in their lives and if they don’ t like what they see, it can be very easy to become depressed, lonely, and isolate yourself even more, making matters worse.

Add to that torturous family gatherings and one can end up feeling worse and worse.

Still others have had traumatic things happen around the holidays such as important people dying, car accidents, war situations, etc., that can get triggered, simply by the holiday decorations, songs, smells, and even simply the calendar.

If you are feeling blue, for whatever reason, even if you are simply overwhelmed with the amount of stuff you are supposed to accomplish between now and December 25, it is time to seek some help.
It is better to seek help from a counselor BEFORE you get to the point where you can’t get out of bed or you feel so numb nothing phases you. If you are at those points, you need to seek help right away. Don’t wait any longer. If you are feeling like hurting yourself, or if the world would be better without you, call your counselor today and make an appointment, or you can call 1-800-SUICIDE, a 24/7 toll free support line.

There are many ways to survive the holidays and maybe even make them enjoyable. Do something today to make yours better!

Carol Agnew, MA, LMFT
Online Counselor

Check out my page at

http://www.asktheinternettherapist.com/online_counselor_ag.asp

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