Depression during Holidays: Trying to Overcome Holiday Blues

EAST VALLEY - VOICE

by DJ Diebold, CAC, LISAC

It's that time of year and she used to love it. The holidays were a time for decorating the house, putting up the tree and looking forward to the family gatherings. This year is different, very different.

After a valiant fight, her husband finally surrendered to the cancer that ravaged his body. It all happened so fast. One day things were normal, and the next, he was gone. She was in shock and so were the kids, both in their teens.

The silence became deafening as December approached. Finally, issues had to be addressed. Should they put up a tree? How about decorating the house? It just didn't feel the same. Dad was gone. How could that be?

As a friend of the family, she knew what I do for a living. I told her that depression is very common this time of year. Loved ones are gone and missed probably more than any other time of year. I call it anger turned inward. She agreed, but didn't know what to do about it. "D.J., I'm just so damn angry. I know that things happen in life. I just want the holidays to be over, and it can't happen quickly enough."

Unfortunately, depression is so common this time of year. It's defined as a mood disorder that causes symptoms such as low energy, prolonged sadness or irritability and a general lack of interest in daily activities. It is not a character flaw, though many are embarrassed and think they have to get over it on their own. One thing is certain: There are things you can do.

So, what causes depression? It's thought to be caused by an imbalance of brain chemicals known as neurotransmitters. It seems to run in families and may be triggered by stress and a lack of social support, and it tends to recur. Women seem to experience it twice as often as men. It's said that one out of 10 who visit a doctor or behavioral health professional has depression, but it often goes unrecognized or undertreated in about half of those with the disorder.

Symptoms of depression include depressed mood and an inability to enjoy activities. It is associated with the following: problems concentrating, poor memory, difficulty making decisions, changes in eating and/ or sleeping habits, loss of interest in things you once enjoyed, difficulty going to work or taking care of your daily responsibilities and feelings of guilt and hopelessness.

Depression is often treated with professional counseling and medications. Once diagnosed, you and your health professional can decide how to best treat your depression. The difficult part of dealing with depression is the lack of desire to talk about it, though this is exactly what must occur. In my friend's case, the anger is boiling over regularly. Both her son and daughter feel the same. It's not easy to talk about things that hurt. It takes courage, bravery and an unflinching determination not to succumb to fear and negativity.

As for my friend, well, she's doing battle, armed with the realization that her beloved husband of 20 years would want her to live a happy, joyful life. The time will come and she knows it. Until then she'll talk, cry and try to comfort her children the best she can.

D.J. Diebold, CAC, LISAC is a state licensed substance abuse therapist and behavioral health provider.

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Updated 02/07/08

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