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 Dear J.M.
I am sorry that your chosen career is not bringing you joy, and that you dread getting up in the morning. It even makes it worse that your friends and family are telling you how grateful you should be as law clerk for a prestigious firm, when you are living for the weekend and hating everything in between. You did not mention if it is a hostile work environment, or if the work is not challenging or too difficult so that you feel overwhelmed. These could all be contributing factors, but I sense from the sound of your email that you are terrified that you have chosen the wrong career and it wouldn't matter where you were employed. I can hear that you are very depressed and that is understandable. You have spent a great deal of time, money, and very hard work to reach this goal and now, in your own words, 'it sucks.' Well, you know you're right, it does 'suck.' Believe it or not there is an upside to your problem. You did not wait until you were working in legal research for ten years to come to this conclusion. The longer you continue doing something that you know is not for you, the more difficult it becomes to make a change. After you mentioned that your parents were both Attorneys, I questioned whether your parents had a plan for you long before you were aware of what was out there. In retrospect, do you feel that it was your choice to go into law? Even if you feel that your career decision was not your decision, I'm certain that your parents would not want you to continue doing something that you're not passionate about, but actually hate. You will end up having emotional and physical symptoms, and short changing the people you have taken an oath to help. From what you told me, your parents are loving people who would be devastated if they knew that you were doing something distasteful, rather than disappoint them. In my opinion, nothing would disappoint them more than knowing that you are so unhappy.
You talked about loving the entertaining business, music, the media, etc.but you felt that you really did not have any outstanding talent and you were aware of the pitfalls of embarking on such a risky business even if you had talent and connections. In the next sentence you said how invigorated you were being around creative people and that you had so many ideas for promotion and publicity that one of your friends in the recording industry often came to you for advice. The 'light bulbs' flashed when I read that. A person needn't throw away an entire profession, because one phase of it is dull and boring. I think that you already have considered what I am about to suggest - ENTERTAINMENT LAW! Talk to people in this field, do your research, and by all means talk to your parents. I have a sense that they already know that you are not happy and that you will never reach your full potential where you are. If you are not sure about making a change, go back to that prestigious university you attended and benefit from some Vocational Testing. I happen to know that they have an excellent Vocational Counseling Program and I would also suggest a Personality Test. It takes more of an Extroverted type to practice Entertainment Law than it does to do Research Tax Law, etc. Study that particular field. The following are excellent sources of research information: "The Vocational Occupational Handbook." "What Color Is Your Parachute?" and "Career Choices and Changes."
You are at such an advantage as you would only be making a change within the legal profession, but it is still a change and that brings FEAR. That's normal, but fear can be immobilizing. Recognize that fear --face the fear-- eradicate the fear.
Just remember when you finish the testing that I suggested, I'm sure that it will only confirm what I think you already know --but I feel that you need that confirmation. I have done a great deal of Vocational Testing in my career and before I begin I ask this simple question "When you were a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?" I am always amazed that after hours of testing and evaluation, more often than not, the top career choices correlated with the profession of their childhood idealism. I believe that you need the testing and my additional comments to validate what you already know. You love the law, but you hate your job.
Let me know how it all works out and do your research before you leave your current job. I do believe you have more talent in the creative fields than you realize and you can use it in a different way than as a performer. We carry all of our unique talent and personal potential in a mental briefcase, hoping that one day we can open it and finally be appreciated and valued for who we are and for what we are really capable of contributing.
Good Luck and Have a Great Life!
Dr. Beverly Block |
Jef Gazley, LMFT is the owner/operator of this online counseling site that offers counseling and medical information by qualified health professionals who's qualifications are clearly listed on their bio pages. This site also provides quality mental health educational videos, dvds, hypnosis tapes, hypnosis cds, and psychology books. The information on asktheinternettherapist is designed to complement, not replace, the relationship between a patient and his/her own physician.
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