Sample Email Answer: Parenting - The Internet and Depression
by Carol Agnew, M.A., LMFT
 Dear Carol,
My 15 year old son is constantly on the computer, either playing games or surfing the net. He has had some issues with depression in the past and I'm concerned he's not developing himself as he should and is instead using the internet too much as an alternative to having to deal with some of the issues he really needs to be addressing. I am afraid his depression is going to get worse. Of course he greatly resists any restrictions whatsoever. How much is too much and what can I do?
Concerned Mom
Dear Concerned Mom,
In this day where technology is so commonplace kids are growing up with computers and the internet as an everyday thing. Unfortunately, like anything else, too much computer time is not good. In life we strive for balance and this is no different. If the time your son spends on the computer is taking away from his socializing, making friends, doing homework, chores or family interaction, or making him more depressed, then it is too much. Yes, he probably can talk to his friends electronically, but if that is replacing face to face contact, we have a problem. Teens need to learn how to handle those social situations and gain confidence in doing things outside of the home environment. Too much time on the computer could potentially lead to isolation, fear of the world outside of the house and could lead to serious depression. Worst case scenario, this could lead to overeating, and other health issues. So, yes, there is such a thing as too much computer time.
Of course, he is going to resist any restrictions you put on him, whether it is for the computer or grounding him for misbehaving, he is 15. That is what 15 year olds do. I think having a time limit of no more than 2 hours a day is probably reasonable. It may help to have a structured time of day, so that you don’t have to watch the clock to make sure he gets off of it. For example, from 5-7pm is his computer time. After 7 he has to do something else. Have a consequence ready to be able to enforce the time limit. If he is not off by 7 he loses a privilege, or you unplug the keyboard and take it to another room. You know your son best and what works best with him. Stand your ground and stay firm. He needs a variety of experiences to round out his life.
I also recommend having the computer in a public room like the living room, so that you can monitor both the time limit and the content he is looking at. It is your job to protect your kids, even if they don’t like it.
If you have more questions or need more suggestions on getting him to comply, you can contact me at www.asktheinternettherapist.com
Carol Agnew, MA, LMFT
|
