Relationships - Dating and Self-Disclosure

by Cynthia L. Marcolina, LPC

So you want to know when it's ok to disclose to someone that you have "bipolar" disorder. Well dating can be a tricky thing. It can be fun and exciting or awkward and full of trepidation. First, be sure you know what you want to get out of it. Are you looking for Mr or Ms Right or just to pass the time with some nice companionship? Either way it's best to bring an open mind and your flexibility. Remember, no matter what you may be making a new friend and having an enjoyable time.

I think that a "cup of coffee" say at a "Starbucks" or a diner near by, is a safe first date or a brunch or light lunch. People like to be asked questions about themselves. But be careful that you don't ask too many or they'll feel interrogated! It's supposed to be an even exchange of information to see if you're compatible.

I think that two people can find out right away if they're hitting it off. There's that mutual comfort you'll feel or attraction or whatever. I think that it's ok to talk about your future goals in general. I think that it's best to be as open and honest as possible.

My therapist once told me that the beginning of the relationship is the best time to take risks because you really have nothing to lose. I used to actually risk scaring men away because I was a woman with a mission! I figure if he got scared then he wasn't the right guy for me. I've been married for almost 18 years now! My husband turned out to be that brave man!

I let him know fairly early on that I wasn't into causal relationships or dating. That I wanted to eventually settle down and that I wanted a commitment. He self-disclosed a little and then I self-disclosed a little and it grew from there. I told him within a couple of months that I was in therapy. A couple of months after that he proposed! So develop a rapport and trust. I certainly did not tell everyone I dated my most personal things. You let a little out and see how they respond. And remember you don't have to tell someone something personal just because they disclose to you. Be sure that you're ready to reveal yourself. And have a good time along the way!

Cynthia L. Marcolina, LPC

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Cynthia Marcolina's highest credential is a Masters degree in counseling from Arcadia in Glenside, Pennsylvania and sheI holds a license in the same state. She is a Licensed Professional Counselor, (Therapist License Verification). She has been doing counseling for over 15 years. She has worked with children, adolescents, adults, and geriatric clients individually, as a couple, or as a family. She also has done group therapy and psychodrama. She is a professional member of The American Counseling Association. She keeps current in my field by doing continuing education (home study, seminars, conferences) and by reading periodicals and books on counseling). She uses an integrative approach combining techniques from the Cognitive-Behavioral, Humanistic, and Existential theories.

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