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 Dear K,
Marijuana is often looked at as an innocuous drug that really isn't dangerous. The active ingredient THC is actually moderately addictive. It lasts in the fatty tissues of the body for at least 28 days and therefore builds up tremendously fast on continued use. The withdrawal from the drug is not dangerous, but does cause the person to be tired, have insomnia, and cravings for several days. Marijuana is classified as a mild hallucinogen in that there are mild to moderate changes of perception in terms of color, sound, and distortion of time and space. People get used to the drug easily and therefore do not recognize how they are affected.
Marijuana causes temporary short-term memory disturbances, but the biggest problem is that it causes Amotivational Syndrome. This in short means that the person ho is using gradually looses motivation for daily activities. This causes problems at work, school, and relationships. The reason that a person gets the "munchies" or desire to eat is because the drug causes blood sugar to drop drastically and people eat to regain sugar balance. As with any drug it causes people to not be in touch with their feelings and impedes emotional maturity.
Whenever a person is dealing with an active drug addict they have to deal with their denial system. I am sure he feels the drug is no big deal and certainly not a problem for him. The reason that it is a problem for you is that in his mind you are just trying to control him. Because of this you will be trying to take care of him and he will be trying to fight for his independence.
This means that you will have a problem with Codependence. Codependence is feeling responsible for another person's problem or trying to take care of their problem even if they are not. Therefore arm yourself with some knowledge about this by reading "Codependence No More" by Melodie Beattie. There are no guarantees in this area. Addicts can be infuriating and have difficulty seeing reality.
The best way to deal with them is to reassure them that you love them, treat your own codependence, learn about the disease, and set very firm boundaries and consequences. This problem infects the entire family unit and will severely harm your child if not stopped. You have to ask yourself if you can let yourself leave with your child if he does not seek treatment. It often comes to this choice and is often the only thing that wakes an addict up. However, it could take a long time and he might call your bluff.
If he is out of the house long enough and loves you both enough then he will eventually come back. It is preferable to the slow decay of the relationship from within if he still continues to use and you stay. Hopefully he will listen. Try to get into therapy yourself for support and guidance.
© 2004 Jef Gazley, M.S., LMFT, DCC |
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