 Dear C,
In general mental health is all about balance. If something becomes excessive to the point that you go out of balance in any area of your life then it can be looked at as a problem area. That does not necessarily mean that it is a severe mental disturbance or phobia.
Although your thirst to learn and not waste time is in some ways quite commendable, and certainly better than most peoples equally out of balance tendency to watch reruns of Gilligans' Island or The Brady Bunch, which could easily rot your mind, it does seem to be somewhat of an obsession.
You only gave me sparse information in your e-mail so I am going to be asking more questions and throwing out more possibilities than usual. If your husband is right about a general tendency to be unable to relax, then there are three psychiatric conditions that might account for it.
It seems to me that your thinking is out of balance and obsessive, and therefore it is possible that Obsessive Compulsive Disorder might be the cause. I would doubt this however, unless you have other specific irrational beliefs which cause anxiety or compulsions to try and relieve the anxiety. My guess is that you are not suffering from full-blown OCD and instead just have personality tendencies.
Another possibility is Attention Deficit Disorder. This might seem strange to you because it sounds like you are studious and the common conception is that to have ADD you can't concentrate or learn. This happens in some types of ADD, but not always. Often Attention Deficit Disorder takes the form of an inability to relax.
It might also be that you are suffering from an anxiety disorder and that it is showing itself in the need to be constantly on the move and busy. The tendency for you to focus mainly on learning is probably just your own personal tendency and interest.
The only other possibility that you might want to look at is whether you have ever had a trauma early in your life that has anything to do with learning, wasting time, or not having enough time because of an early death. I do not really expect that this is the issue, but want to cover all bases.
Given the information you laid out these are the possibilities that seem likely to me. I would seek out some individual counseling with someone who is fully qualified in those diagnosis listed above so that a determination can be made. Be especially concerned to find someone with a good knowledge of adult Attention Deficit Disorder, as it is the most misunderstood condition out there today. Good luck and I hope this helps. Jef.
Jef Gazley, M.S., LMFT © 2004
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