The following is an excerpt from the book entitled “Is That The Reason I Cannot Communicate Well?” “The way to craft an assertive statement is by saying, ‘I think’ ‘I need’ ‘I want’ or what’s most important, ‘I feel.’
I feel is the language of love, the language of relationships. It imparts the deepest meaning of what’s happening. So if a person says, “I think assertiveness will help you,” that message gives information. “I want you to pay close attention as I’m speaking,” also gives information. “I need you to practice this at home,” gives more information. But, “I feel that this will radically change your life,” gives not only information, but it imparts what a person is feeling, and often gives a person a glimpse into the motivation of the communicator and establishes a sense of closeness.
The reason a person should use “I” statements is because it is important to fully accept the idea of being the master of their own feelings. What people are often taught is that someone else is in control of their feelings, that other people make us feel in particular ways, and that is not only demeaning to the individual, but simply untrue.
Everybody has the right and the ability to choose.” By Jef Gazley, M.S., LMFT ©2008 This book is available in printed format, ebook (downloadable book), and audio book on CD.